Cheating is a Choice!!

It seems lately, we’ve seen continuous cheating scandals by powerful men who should have known better. While people and the media argue why men cheat, remember whether you’re a man or a woman, cheating is a choice. A person doesn’t accidentally cheat. Cheating is a decision. A cheater makes a decision to cheat. A decision is defined as: “the act or process of deciding; determination, as of a question or doubt, by making a judgment; the act of or need for making up one’s mind.” So cheating is a conscious choice with corresponding actions. You make choices that lead you to the position where you’re actually cheating. For example, Congressman Weiner may have not physically met these women, but his chosen communications were inappropriate. There are smaller decisions one makes before cheating; for example, getting someone’s contact information when you know you’re in a committed relationship, calling and flirting. Anything you would not do in front of your partner; anything that goes against your mutual commitment is cheating. So how does a person continually decide to do something so wrong? Often cheaters play mind games with themselves to justify their actions. So they’re not only fooling the ones they’re with, they’re also fooling themselves. For example, some powerful men have egos that excuse their cheating behaviors. Their egos tell them they have the right to have more than one woman. They somehow feel they’re entitled to have the momentary gratifications their cheating behaviors provide them. Whether you run a multi-million dollar company, a political leader or just an everyday professional, we all have choices. We make decisions, and our choices have consequences. While cheating hurts the one who’s been cheated on, the consequences should fall on the person who made the choice to cheat. He or she cannot put that blame on another. Cheating is a decision. One person in the relationship chose to cheat. Let that person alone have to take ownership, responsibility and blame. Though there are stressors to cheating; for example, lack of trust, lack of fun and excitement, lack of feeling validated, etc. Those stressors should not cause a person to make the decision to cheat. Those stressors should cause the person to do something about it; talk about it, get help, or even leave relationship. Those stressors should not be used as an excuse to justify a decision to cheat.